What should I do?

Sometimes I feel I am tired without even doing anything. Every morning I wake up with a little hope that maybe today something will change. Then I open my laptop, check my mails, look at some job openings and start studying again. By the end of the day, I am still at the same place where I was yesterday. My name is Rohit Verma. I am 26 years old and I live in Vaishali Nagar, Jaipur, with my father Mahesh, my mother Sunita and my younger sister Nisha. I completed my graduation in 2022. At that time, I was very confident about my future. I thought getting a job would not be a very big thing. I had studied properly, I had plans and I was ready to work hard. I wanted a simple life. I wanted a good job, a decent salary and to become independent. More than anything, I wanted to support my parents. My father had done a lot for our family, and I always wanted a day when I could tell him, “Papa, now you don't have to worry about me.” After graduation, I started preparing for government exams. My father was also happy because he thought I was working towards a stable career. He used to say, “Beta, thoda time lagega, but once you get a good job, everything will become easy.” So I gave my full time to preparation. I joined a library near Mansarovar. I used to reach there in the morning and sometimes stay till evening. My days were filled with books, notes, mock tests and previous year papers. I reduced meeting friends and stopped going out much. I thought my hard work would definitely give me results. But slowly, things started going wrong. I failed one exam. Then another. In one exam, I cleared the first stage but could not clear the next stage. Once, I missed the cut-off by only three marks. That three marks still stay in my mind. I had prepared for that exam for almost ten months. I had sacrificed so many things because I thought this was finally going to be my chance. When the result came, I just sat quietly in my room. My mother came and asked, “Kya hua beta?” I said, “Nahi hua Mummy.” She looked at me for a few seconds and then said, “Koi baat nahi. Next time ho jayega. Pehle khana kha lo.” That was all. She did not give me any lecture. She did not ask me why I failed. But I could see the worry on her face. Now it has been almost four years since I finished my graduation, and I still don't have a proper job. This is what hurts me the most. My father is 56 years old. He still gets up early every morning and goes to work. Sometimes I see him coming home tired, and I feel very bad from inside. I think, “Main kab tak papa par depend rahunga?” My mother also tries not to put pressure on me, but I know she is worried. Sometimes she casually asks, “Beta, kisi company ka reply aaya?” I simply say, “Nahi Mummy, abhi dekh raha hoon.” Sometimes there is no reply. Sometimes I get a rejection mail. And sometimes I don't even know which type of job I should apply for. The family pressure has also started increasing. Whenever we go to a wedding or some family function, relatives ask the same questions. “Rohit, job lagi?” “Government exam ka kya hua?” “Private job kyun nahi kar lete?” “Kab tak preparation karoge?” I just smile and say, “Bas, try kar raha hoon.” One relative once told me, “Beta, tumhari age ke boys toh settle ho rahe hain.” I smiled at that time, but those words stayed in my mind for many days. Because I also want to settle. I also want to earn. I also want to do something for my family. It's not like I am sitting idle. I am trying every day. On 12 September 2026, I was sitting at a small tea stall in C-Scheme, Jaipur after coming back from the library. I checked my phone. There was a rejection email from a company where I had applied a few days ago. I opened another notification. It was the result of an exam. I had failed again. I don't know why, but at that moment I just felt completely empty. Then I got a WhatsApp message from my father. It said, “Beta, ghar aate waqt thodi sabzi lete aana.” I kept looking at that message. It was such a small and normal message, but I suddenly felt like crying. My father was simply asking me to bring vegetables home, while I was sitting there thinking about my career, my future and my whole life. When I reached home, Nisha was studying. She looked at my face and asked, “Bhai, kya hua?” I said, “Kuch nahi.” She smiled and said, “Bhai, tension mat lo. Kuch na kuch ho jayega.” I also smiled. But honestly, I was not sure. That night, I went to the terrace and sat there alone. I started thinking about the last four years. So many forms. So many exams. So many rejections. So many nights of studying. And so many times telling my parents, “Next time ho jayega.” Now I am honestly tired of saying the same thing. I don't want to leave my dreams. But I also don't want to keep wasting time. I don't know whether I should continue preparing for government exams or take a private job and start earning. Maybe I should learn a new skill. Maybe I should change my career completely. Maybe I should stop thinking about what relatives will say and just start from wherever I can. The problem is, I have no clear answer. I am 26. I know I am not too old. But when I look at my parents, I feel I don't have unlimited time either. I just want one chance. One proper direction. One job where I can start my life again and feel that I am finally moving ahead. I am still trying. I have not completely given up. But every night, when the house becomes quiet and everyone goes to sleep, one question keeps coming back to my mind— Ab main kya karu?